Don't worry - pray!

^6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

"Don't worry be happy" is a song most of us knew well in the '80s - written by Bobby McFerrin - it's message spoke of a life free from worry...if you would just be happy :) Some of the lyrics you might have sung along to all those years ago were catchy & almost the perfect remedy for our worries;

"In every life we have some trouble

But when you worry you make it double

Don't worry, be happy"

The problem here is that it's easy to say 'don't worry', but we need something to replace the hole & the void that carried our concerns. Who do we give our anxieties to? Where does our faith in the future lie?

Through a series of circumstances, Bobby McFerrin ended up struggling with major anxieties after this song was released and found it hard not to worry when life became all consuming. It's true we shouldn't worry, but that's only half of the remedy for anxiety. The next (and more important part) is to pray.

"Don't worry, pray" isn't as catchy, but it certainly would have been more effective. Happiness is fleeting, but contentment despite our present situation is more than possible. Despite the storm & the possible negatives swirling around our world, when we are centered on the rock of Jesus we can have peace in the storm.

Storms, however frightening they are, are temporary. The sun is permanent & will outlast the storms. As long as you are focusing on what is right and true & permanent you will be victorious. You have no reason to fear no matter how dark the situation appears in front of you.

What we meditate and 'fix our mind' on is part of our positioning. It is natural to lean towards the fears, worries & cares of the world. They are constant and can sometimes be all consuming - despite how long we have been a Christian & know what is right to do. We all have dark, gloomy days that threaten to overcome us.

Positioning yourself in the right place is the answer.

Standing in the right place, and focusing on the right things, is the key to a life of peace despite the circumstances.

And where is the right place?

Close to the One who longs to be close to you. Leaning into Him.

Holding onto His word as a lifeline. Standing on the rock knowing you are in the right place, and soaking in the rays of the sun as they begin to displace the storm clouds (of fear, doubt & anxiety) and soaking in His love, peace & comfort knowing that tomorrow is a new day.

And He is at the Helm.

I love these verses. They speak of life, faith & promise. And although it seems to go against our natural bent to think of those things that are concerning us most, the answer lies in the super-natural.

Thinking on all the good, and all the beautiful you can.

Something we need to work on every day if we want to live a life free from worry & anxiety - despite the storms.

^8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

The Simple Life

"Keep it simple, stupid!"

That's a well known saying from somewhere that has stuck with me lately....maybe not as blunt as that, but I have definitely been feeling the compelling need to simplify.

My life has been so constant that the colour seems to have faded to a dull ... grey! There have been so many warning signs, and I have acknowledged them, only to put it down on my 'do to' list to reassess my life at a later date. However I have recently planted my foot on the brakes of life and had a good, healthy review.

The 'finds' have been interesting, sobering...and not surprising. This merry-go-round of busy, busy, busy has its negatives, and there comes a time when you realize it's not getting you from A to B that quickly. It's taking you back to where you started.

The scenery looks good, but it's always the same.

It's no-one else's fault but mine if I lack the power (guts) to say no. If I can't control my boundary lines than I can't blame it on my husband, kids, family, friends or colleagues. I am the one in charge of what I do and don't do, and need to regularly re-assess what is going on at the fence line.

People pleasing is not the most ideal trait if it becomes extreme. Its awesome to be kind and want to do the best for people, but not at the expense of your family and your loved ones...and your sanity.

If you have to maintain a relationship by pleasing a certain someone and saying and doing all the right things to keep it all under control - then its just not worth it. It's too exhausting, time consuming and insanely unhealthy.

Pleasing God is good. Doing what is right and noble is good, as long as it's with right motives and a pure heart... sounds simple enough. Often so hard to get the balance right though.

It happens so much - I say yes to a good idea before thinking it through - ignoring that flashing red light in my gut. Confrontation isn't fun, neither is disagreeing when it's going to make you look like the party pooper. But isn't that better than being fake, unauthentic and undisciplined?

In my contemplation of the simple (good) life....I am slowly learning that what counts is like a flashing green light right before you.

Who are the people who love you most? Who do you love the most?

Do you set time aside each day to spend some time in the Word?

What is your primary income source?

What was the last thing God told you to do?

What are your dreams & desires?

Are you feeling exhausted most days?

How often to you go for walks, take photos, laugh?

I used to run everywhere....literally. Everything seemed urgent. I ran late for appointments, regularly forgot where I put my 'to do' lists, keys, sunglasses.....brain....

And then I would crash and burn and wonder why...

In getting 'off the ride' and having a good shot at simplicity, I have been re-learning a few things about myself....

I have re-discovered that I love to sing, and I love watching sunsets.

I love white chocolate ice cream. :)

These days life is still full, but I am grabbing the moments a lot more, and no longer feel guilty spending quality time with someone special, or a complete stranger.

You just can't put a price tag on a conversation with someone.

I also have become a lot more organised. Considering my home is often filled with eight or more people I have no choice. It's either write extensive lists or be buried alive under mountains of laundry, post it notes and a billion toys (which I'm certain multiply by themselves!)

I have discovered many quite simple ways to keep on top of my life and it's 'to do' lists, and still feel like I have time to enjoy the day and it's treasures.

I update my diary, write a fortnightly meal plan, throw the junk mail in the bin before it gets past the front door, fold my washing before the end of each day, give myself a day off a week...

Order is good (ask my husband!) and even though it's difficult and doesn't come naturally, it is possible for anyone. Once the routines are established and I give myself some grace, there is a chance to breath.

Those dreams that disturb us at the wrong times when we allow ourselves to think back to those times when we were moved deeply, cried at the injustice of something, or were young and dreamed and planned our life ahead....they are worth reclaiming, re-assessing...

It's a tragedy when the simple life starts to fade as busyness takes the drivers seat, and you take off down the fast lane. Dreams hold on for life then become almost invisible as the years go on and we start to lose belief in ourselves and the path we had once seen clearly.

The simple life will give you room to move again. Time to reflect, pray, awaken what has lain dormant.

Dream.

The thing is, we all only get one life....

...so enjoy the journey each day brings (even if it's just one solitary moment of light when we're in the depths of the valley), and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

So simple to write, not as simple to do. But I'm going to try.

The Secret Place

'When we spend time with the Lord in prayer and in His Word, we are in the secret place of God's presence'. Joyce Meyer

Years ago one of my favourite books was 'The Secret Garden' - a secret, safe place to retreat surrounded by the most beautiful trees, scents and colours. I longed to have my own 'secret garden' one day, where I could run away and hide in place that no one knew was there. A place filled with beauty, secrets & mystery...

Years later, I was in the midst of a fairly big storm in my life (more like a tornado) and was having a coffee with an amazing woman of God who spoke simple truths into my life.

"You have to find your secret place." she said with conviction. "Noone can take away what you find there. It's the place where you meet God."

That stuck with me. It was really between me and God and how important it was to me to set aside time to really connect with Him and hear from Him without the constant distractions. Life can sometimes feel like a rubbish pit especially through those dark seasons that don't make sense. In those times finding the secret place is paramount to our sanity.

"The secret place is a place of peace and security, a place where we can give Him our cares and trust Him to take care of us. When we spend time in God's presence, He becomes our protection, our stability, our place of refuge. He becomes the source of our help, not only when others want to hurt us and speak evil against us, but in every situation and circumstance."

How awesome to have a place we can call our own. That place that doesn't depend on situation or circumstance. We find it on our knees - in the words of His Word - and in the times we set aside to meet with our Maker, and hear Him.

We have eight people under our roof (and yes I watched nearly every episode of 'Eight is enough') so finding a place to think can be tricky, especially when our bedroom is often used as a hiding spot for the boys, an extra media room or meeting place for half our family (and pets), so I have to be creative.

We had an unused space next to our dining room that (with the help of some amazing friends) was transformed into a beautiful haven for the girls in the house (and boys as long as were silent!) I filled it with books and paintings, big sofas and throw rugs. Perfect for that quiet time.

I found a space outside and ripped out the weeds & rubbish and transplanted whatever plants I could find around the house, as well as some from the markets...A restored bench seat under the shade and I had my perfect little spot for a cup of tea and an outdoor retreat (along with the rainbow lorikeets who visit every second day..)

It doesn't really matter where you go, as long as you go. You can sit on a chair at the table with your bible open and your journal ready, turn off the mobile and set aside half and hour to just go to that place with God as you spend time with Him and meditate on what is good, true, right, lovely and noble. Fix your thoughts on the truth not on what the world is telling you.

A word from God is greater than a thousand from man. It will keep you on course.

It will keep you safe.

As long as you remember to go back to the Secret Place.

"In the secret place of your presence you hide them from the plots of men; you keep them secretly in your pavilion from the strife of tongues." Ps 31:20

Love like that...

"His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that." Eph 5:2 TMB

What an extravagant verse!! Another translation says to 'walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering & a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.'

Isn't that the salvation message in a nutshell? Isn't the definition of pure love what Christ did for us on the cross? He gave everything to us, for us. His grace poured from heaven so that we could receive what we didn't deserve just because He loves us.

And, by the way, we need to love like that...

Sometimes the simplest words are the hardest to grasp.

Love is one of them. I mean... God is love. It's a big word. It's what makes the world go round, and it affects every person on earth.

Love also hurts.

The less you give into a relationship, or into life, then the less opportunities & chances there will be for any type of conflict, unkind words, disruption and pain. However the irony is that if you play it that safe you are most probably lacking in love & close relationship - which means that deep down you are hurting anyway.

The walls that were meant to protect us end up preventing the love from reaching us.

The hurt is worth it. The risks associated with real agape love are worth it. (it's the only way through to the other side)

Jesus most probably would have loved to opt out of dying the worst ever death on the cross. But it was the way through to the other side. It was pure, amazing love.

Another word I find hard to grasp is grace.

I'm only just starting to get my head around this illusive word that just seems to mess with my head.

Why can't I just accept that God just wants to love me without all the conditions?

Am I still acceptable? What if I do something wrong & the goal posts change?

Accepting Gods grace means accepting that you don't have to keep trying to be acceptable.

You can breath and enjoy the journey without having to people please and God please.

"But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more"

Good overcomes evil. Light overcomes darkness.... and grace overcomes sin.

It all ties in together really. The gift of God's grace is love.

When I am in a situation where I could show love, I should show it extravagantly. Who cares if they deserve less, give them more! Love to give, not to get. Easier to say than do, but it's definitely an exercise I want to see happen more and more in my life.

What a life it would be if we all lived like that. Outgiving eachother. Shining God's love and overcoming the darkness of this world.

Let's love like that.

The Gift Giver

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above & comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." James 1:1

This has always been a favourite of mine, this verse tucked away in the book of 'tell it how it is'...I love the directness of James & the common sense so unashamedly daring us to take Him at His Word. It is what it is.

'Every' is derived from everything. It means all, inclusive, without exception. So when we read 'every good & perfect gift' I suppose thats exactly what it means.

We are created in His image, which probably explains why we love to give gifts. We give them to our children, our loved ones, our family & friends, our colleagues...whenever there is an opportunity to outstretch our hand with a gift - tangible or not - we give with a heart that wants to bless. We give to show our love.

I remember so many times the anticipation of seeing my childrens faces light up when they open up a long awaited gift....the reward is seeing their joy & their delight. They don't have to do more than receive & enjoy what was handpicked just for them. Photos are taken & memories made. Everyone is blessed.

God is the ultimate Gift Giver. He is the Father of light. He is the One who delights in seeing us open His hand picked gifts for us. Those moments in life that you just can't orchestrate on your own - the ones that take your breath away....I believe He shares them with us & delights in those moments. He cheers when we achieve that dream & stand on our high hills. When that bridge is finally crossed & peace becomes a reality. When those situations are addressed & relationships restored. When breakthrough comes in our finances....He is there...cheering us on... smiling. :)

Our children are our gifts. Mine all know they are our 'presents from God'....our greatest gifts from heaven. It makes them feel valuable knowing they have been handpicked & 'chosen' for us. Our family unit was framed & planned in God's heart. It makes the value of family even more priceless....

'no variation or shadow of turning...'

I love the stability & consistency of our Father of lights. What a beautiful description - our path should be in line with His - consistent; straight; dependable; a destination.... There is not even a shadow of His turning away from the spoken word and promises that were given as gifts to us all those centuries ago.

I love that my moral code is set in stone..on the parchments of old. That I can say without doubt that my God has my best interests at heart; my childrens; and my children's children...

His gifts are greater than any other. Each one personalized in line with the deepest desires of our hearts and the plans laid out for us.

What was one of your gifts today? For me it was the joy (for many this wouldn't be a joy..) of digging in the earth - transplanting heaps of ferns & plants from around the yard into my 'secret garden' that used to be a weed pit. It's not finished - but I loved seeing new life & beauty in my part of the world. Very satisfying. :)

I wonder what our Father's gifts were today? Most likely seeing us delight in our gifts - knowing we are thankful & aware of where they came from...

The gift giver.

"Every desirable & beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light.....He bought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all his creatures."

TMB

The stray that couldn't stay....

Last week I visited a lady I met just over a year ago when she bought a bed from me. We swapped phone numbers and have been in contact ever since.

She has six children and lives a life that seems shadowed by the past. Day to day existence, and chaos within her walls.

She is fighting for sanity. Some days, she is fighting to survive....

Often I find her in the same spot, just standing there. She stands on her verandah, rolled cigarette in one hand, steaming coffee in the other, and stares out past her prized cactus patch as if looking for someone familiar.

I have dropped by for many reasons.

Once I dropped around two coffee mugs. One with the word LOVE & the other with the word HOPE in bold, bright letters....a small gift in comparison to the great need of this single mum, but when I dropped them around it meant the world to her that day.

On my last visit, a little kitten brushed past my leg as I was absentmindedly chatting to her and the kids. It looked like a little tiger, so small and defenseless...and its cuteness must have messed with my reasoning skills, as I really didn't think very rationally from that moment on. She had put an ad in the paper for the litter of unwanted kittens, but I felt it was almost impossible to put the kitten back on the lounge chair with her brood of brothers & sisters...so I didn't.

I took it home, and just assumed the rest of the family would be equally besotted at the cute little tiger kitten.

We (my daughter, son and I) named her Esther on the way home.

When you name something, it becomes personal. I should have realised this at some point on my drive home. However, reasoning still had not returned so I wrongly still believed we were taking her home to live with us forever!

As we walked through the doorway, it then dawned on me that our other cat may not appreciate the newest visitor as much as I did. He was used to the primary attention of our five children, who, for the last fourteen years have given their love, attention and laps to our much adored family pet.

I should add at this point that we also have two dogs, two chickens, a budgie and a dozen fish...not to mention the rodents that didn't survive over the years...guinea pigs, mice, another chicken (murdered by our dog) and a few other birds..

Needless to say, my husband was not impressed.
"You can't bring every stray home that you find!" he reprimanded.
"I don't!" If only he knew how many creatures I am tempted to bring home...

We tried everything, but after two days, the deadline was up, and Esther had to go. Dad had spoken, and after pleading, silence, begging and finally...tears!!... I realised he was right. And so did the kids.

It seemed our cat had sunk into a cat 'depression'. If we went near him, he hissed. He curled up on the dining room chair & stayed there most of the day!. He wouldn't let any of us pick him up. He truly had his feline nose out of joint.

The family dynamics had changed with the unannounced arrival of Esther. I thought it would work, but even the kids were ready for her to leave. They wanted our cat to love them again.

Taking Esther back to her 'family' was very difficult for me. They were a family of stray cats really. They existed on the premises, but they often weren't fed, and they weren't staying there. They were destined to fight for survival themselves...

I dropped off Esther and a stack of kitten food, and after checking numerous times that she would be cuddled and they would keep her name, I drove away.

I started thinking then. I thought about how many 'strays' there are in the world that I can't bring home. Forget about unwanted pets, I was thinking about the orphans...the faceless unwanted children that we can't bring home because our family dynamics would be so greatly affected that it would mess with our family lives - our routines - our systems....our hearts.

It gets messy, taking in strays. It hurts. Just like our cat felt rejected and unwanted, replaced...the dynamics change.

I thought about what we can do even if we can't bring them home. And most of the time we can't. Not our home anyway.

But there is always something - big or small - that I can do.

I can sponsor a child. I can send money. I can love someone.

I can be a voice for those who have no voice.

It seems almost overwhelming when you think of the great need of the third world. But when you make a difference in one little life, whether it is a child or a kitten, you are changing the world.

I often think of Leo, the boy I met on the streets of Cambodia on the last day of my visit. He slept all night in the gutter. Through a translator I found out he had no home. I gave him food, water, toothpaste and a toothbrush. And I held his hand.

He was the same age as my son.

I wanted to take him home off the streets. If I could have I would have. That would have disrupted the family dynamics!

But all I can do is pray. And keep doing something - even if it's small.

Because to Esther... and Leo....small is big.

The Last Note

My daughter turned 16 last week. It was an eventful week with preparations for her party underway, and on her birthday she was singing & playing piano in front of the entire high school. It was very exciting to be performing on her special day. I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

The day of her birthday arrived, and after a morning of presents & celebrations she was off to school.

It was then that my day began to unravel.

We had borrowed a set of disco lights from a friend for her party. We discovered that morning that the fuse (or something more sinister) had broken & my job was to find a replacement. Easier said then done. 'Needle in a haystack' is the phrase that comes to mind. When the vital fuse was finally discovered after trips to Dick Smiths, Tandy's & every inch of the yellow pages, it still didn't work.

So we hired another set of disco lights. Problem solved.

I had been writing her a poem over the last week...my attempt to sum up the last 16 years of her life, which then morphed into a 24 verse epic. This became unprintable as my computer was obviously illiterate!! Her birthday would be over that night & it was so important to me that she got her poem - on her birthday!

After many more attempts to print the poem, I then sent my husband the unsaved original copy by mistake, so the wrong version arrived on my doorstep later that morning. You'd think getting a poem printed would be easy! Long story short the final (correct) copy arrived in my hands at 10.30pm that night, and then into hers.

Could have been worse. Another potential disaster averted!

After cleaning the house that same morning, I had intended to do a 'party food, decorations, prizes & games' shop, order the birthday cake & arrive with time to spare at her school assembly. Fuse & poem problems aside, I still had time!

Then the phone rang.

My youngest son had a medical ailment that needed immediate attention (the sick bay nurse informed). I realised then that I had given myself no room to move, as now I needed to drop everything & find a doctor. We had a long weekend coming up, and my son needed antibiotics & fungal cream ASAP.

Obviously the rest of Brisbane needed fungal cream, as no doctors in Brisbane were free, except one that I avoided calling (until the last minute) for reasons I remembered a few hours later.

I arrived with my son to a full waiting room, an hour & ten minutes before my daughters performance. I had just enough time.

We waited, and waited and waited. I then realised that there was one doctor to see everyone in the waiting room, and there were more sick cases arriving by the minute!! My frustration was shared by another woman who had enough when the doctor bypassed her for the second time. She was next in line, but he popped his head out & randomly chose a lady sitting closest to his door. As I watched the confrontation between her & the receptionist, who confirmed she had been the next patient, I realised that my chances of getting there were going to be very slim.

After an hour, we were the next in line! I still had 10 minutes before the assembly. It was then that the doctor took a toilet break. This lasted another 5 minutes. I wanted to run out but there was no room for the rest of the day, and my son's health had to come first.

When he finally came back, we were called in & I experienced the fastest doctor's visit of my 17 years of mothering. One minute & we were out the door, prescriptions in hand.

There are no words that describe the frustration of really bad timing on the roads. I didn't speed, but I did get every red light back to the school.

We finally got there, and I bolted through the doors, son in hand. My daughter was on stage playing the piano, and I arrived just in time.... to hear her last note.

It was a beautiful long note, one that I will always treasure, as that will be my only memory of her performance.

I was in the auditorium for no more than two seconds, when her song ended & everyone clapped & cheered. My husband raced over & tried to make me feel better.

"It was amazing!" "You would have loved it!!" Yep that helped.

I fought back the tears & tried to find something positive. I could have missed the last note. That is true.

Rach found me & was lovely as ever. She saw me come in right at the end. And she understood I tried my best to make it.

The rest of the afternoon I thought about the emotions I felt missing most of her song. I took my son back to the surgery for further attention, & realised that I had to choose between two of my children - my son who was sick or my daughter on her special day. Obviously my son's health was a priority.

As stressed as I was, I still saw the God moment in the whole frustrating episode.

The last note - so beautiful & worth everything just to hear it.

But I would have much preferred to hear the whole song.

How much of our lives does God hear? Is He hearing our song or just a few notes.

I often wonder if I frustrate God. The many times I go around in circles, trying to live my life properly - but not including Him in my plans. How many times do my plans not turn out the way I expected.

Is my life the song that God was waiting for??

I can almost see Him leaning in - listening for the notes, the beats & the beauty of the song He created me to sing. If not for anybody else to hear - but for Him.

You see - I missed my daughters performance - but He heard every note.

Each of us have a symphony to play for the One who hears. I don't have to be everywhere. I shouldn't put that expectation on myself. The world will still keep turning even if I don't show up once in a while.

My daughter sung her heart out, and I know it pleased God, as well as everyone who were blessed enough to hear.

And that one lovely note was a gift that I am so thankful to have heard. A little treasure to hold on to - also a reminder that the song I am singing every day - my life song - is for Him.

And the song you are singing - every kind word, every act of obedience, the small things as well as the big that happen every day - it's all for Him.

He hears it all.

Salt air

I don't know about you, but there have been quite a number of moments during the rollercoaster ride of my life where I have realised (way too late) that a breather; a basic retreat; a chance to 'stop & smell the roses' is a necessity - not a luxury.

That happened to me recently. I realised that if I didn't make some plans I would grind to a screeching halt and stop functioning anyway. I would be no use to myself or the world around me. Nothing had changed to tip me 'almost' over the edge, but I was fighting to get basic errands done. I was fighting to keep my joy.

Walking the dog seemed like a triathalon I couldn't face.

Reading my Bible was an uphill battle as the words tried to swim away.... so much for my speed reading course in Grade 12!

Apathy was creeping into my soul and I didn't know why. It just was.

I also realised that I missed my children.

Between work, school, sports, chores & life's responsibilities I felt I was missing the moments - long uninterrupted moments with my favourite people. I was sure they were growing an inch a week (which would explain the growing food consumption in our home) and the foreboding reality that they will one day leave the nest rang truer with my 18 year old son driving to work every day...

Change doesn't happen until you do something. I just had to open my diary, find a space, and make it happen. So I cancelled a few appointments, made plans to get away & reboot, and then got on with getting through my days.

As my 'getaway' date finally arrived, it turned out I had made a wonderful choice.

I moved to a little granny flat right by the sea, & finally stopped.

Each morning my three boys & I walked the winding path that led to the beach. As soon as the water was in view they sprinted away & left me to my mountain of thoughts.

I walked slowly along the waters edge and breathed the salt air deep into my lungs. It felt good.

I sat down and stared at the water lapping the sand - back and forward, back and forward - a rhythmic beat of the sea set in place since the world began - erasing footprints of the past; cleansing debris, seaweed, froth & bubble; healing...

I thought about how much I try to slow down, and how often I fail.

If there were two things I wanted to learn it was this: 1) the art of stopping 2) The art of hearing.

You can't hear if you don't stop.

Listening is a wonderful character attribute which I feared I was losing.

I watched my boys shrieking in the water & having sand fights, running like boys should, free & wild.

There were no time limits. I stayed as long as I wanted to & took in the blues of the sea & peacefulness of the rippling sand, laced with the most perfect groups of sand balls circling little holes. Home for little white crabs.

Days passed quietly. We read books. We played games and painted on canvases. I made dinner slowly, & ate slowly - enjoying every mouthful.

Deep in my soul I was beginning to listen and contemplate what I had.

Small is big, when you think about it. Small things are important.

The ability to see; to breathe; to stop. The kisses on a child's cheek. Smiles of encouragement. The prayers of a mother. The memories of a special day. The dreams of tomorrow.

It is so easy to get so caught up in the day to day 'doings' that we forget how lavishly blessed and wonderfully loved we really are....

The salt air was doing me good, as I realised on the sixth day. My heart was beginning to sing.

Every colour of dusk was intrinsically wonderful to me. The burnt orange of the sunset. The deep grey of the clouds. I stood with the sand squidging between my toes and took in as much as I could, because tomorrow I was going home.

I wanted to breathe in the memory of this moment and keep it forever.

As I lay on the sand and took a photo of the clouds, a thought popped into my head that this cloud formation would never look like this again. I was more than likely the only person in the world to take it in, and appreciate its wonder.

So I lay and took it in, until another thought joined my first one.

I realised that I can go home and have this too. I can walk outside and see the colours of dusk. I can look up and see glimpses of heaven. My seaside retreat reminded me that I have what I need at home.

I have the sustainer of life within me. He is everywhere - not just at the sea.

So with that simple revelation dancing in my heart, I soon packed up, and a very relaxed, sunkissed me once again decided to make the most of the moments. I won't just live from one break to the next.

I will cherish today today and think about tomorrow...tomorrow.

I will breathe in the air and thank God that I can breathe it in, whatever its fragrance.

I will stop (wherever I am) more and I will listen (wherever I am) more.

And I will get on with living.

PS Although (I just have to say) my week by the sea to 'stop and smell the salt air' was very good. As good as medicine for the soul!

staying on track

Last Friday I surprised my eight year old son and gave him the day off school. An excursion with Mum! It turned out to be an unexpectedly long excursion with a few extra twists and turns.

Jayden had been asking to go on a train on and off for ages, and over the Christmas holidays I had promised to take him on one. It didn't happen and school began with an unfulfilled promise. I made a note to take him on a train (before next Christmas!) and last week found myself with a spare day.

I packed an extra set of clothes and loved watching his face light up as we drove past the school and on to Grandma's place! We parked the car and then set off on our walk to the train (with a bag of goodies & kisses from Grandma).

I showed him the exact route I had taken to high school for five years. Ten minutes to the train station, then a half hour train trip into Southbank.

So much had changed at every turn. The train station had been completely renovated (you would expect this after twenty years!) but a lot of the scenery was the same as I remembered.

Jayden was thrilled going through the tunnels and I loved his wide eyed wonder as he pointed out different landmarks that caught his attention.

We passed Southbank onto Central Station, hopped off & hurried through the crowds to Post Office Square. The buskers were still busking in their same places, and gave Jayden a wave as he threw them his change. What a difference music makes to an old walkway.

We wandered slowly through the mall and through to a games arcade, then ate lunch while watching men and women on a stage getting their head shaved (and sprayed pink) for Leukemia.

After crossing the bridge bank to Southbank and enjoying the best New Zealand ice cream (spearmint!) we started to run for the train station. It was pouring!

"It's all worked out perfectly!" I assured Jayden as we boarded the train that arrived at the exact time as we did. How convenient!! I didn't even think about checking the FRONT of the train - something I should have known to do after five years of catching the train!

About 10 minutes passed as we zoomed through tunnels and over bridges. I was lost in thought thinking about my growing TO DO list to plow through when I got home, and Jayden had his eyes fixed on the world outside.

It wasn't until I heard "Murarrie, Murarrie Station" that my senses started to tingle. "Why are we in Murarrie?" I thought to myself. How odd! Then it dawned on me that I hadn't actually recognised ANY of the stations (or scenery) we had passed for a number of stations. I had literally 'zoned out' since we left Southbank. REALLY bad timing!

Jayden was oblivious to my quickening sense of dread as the reality of my mistake began to sink in. It was obvious we were NOT on the Beenleigh train, but on our way to Cleveland!!! We were SO far away from our station it wasn't funny AND I had just discovered that my mobile phone was flat.

Some excursion.

We got off at Hemmant and stood for a while in the middle of nowhere. It was about 2pm (as far as I could tell from the sun) and there was only one other person on the station.

Jayden thought the whole situation was very funny. "It's all worked out perfectly" he said in a high pitched voice trying to mimick me. After that all he cared about was the likelihood of a toilet. There was none at this station.

All I cared about was a train in the opposite direction!

I felt so silly taking my son on such a wild goose chase. After so many years getting it right how could I have stuffed up so badly???

I think I just got complacent. I was so sure of myself, and then when I was on the wrong track I didn't even realise. The scenery had changed dramatically and I couldn't even tell.

It makes you think about life, and where we are headed. You can be going in the wrong direction - changing direction slowly - and not even know it.

Until you're a long way away.

Then you end up stuck in a place you have never been before, with a sudden sense of urgency that all you want to be is home, back on track and travelling in the RIGHT direction!

We finally got a train back to Park Road. Then we had to wait while three trains passed by.

People got on. People got off. Jayden spun around. He played with a piece of metal he found on the ground. And some stones.

I asked a number of people the time, and triple checked the front of each train that passed us by. I wasn't going to get it wrong again!

Then we sat and talked, and just enjoyed being together.

We were in the middle of nowhere, with a train to catch (hopefully!) and time seemed to stand still for a while.

By the time we got home, we both thought the whole 'train mix up disaster' was actually very funny - and I realised that it had all been an adventure for Jayden.

I'm pretty sure we will always remember the day we went to the city, played arcade games, ran in the rain, and caught four trains!!!

Treasure in the dirt patch

I have a small patch of dirt in my backyard which I am planning to one day transform into a secret haven - a little patch of garden heaven - well that's the plan!

Right now you would probably not see past the thick mass of weeds, rocks and broken toys that have multiplied before my eyes - especially after the recent torrents of rain.

Yesterday I ventured out just before dinner and surveyed the menacing weeds which I am sure were not ten foot yesterday. It was really ugly, and looked impenetrable.

So while deep in thought about my dilemma of how to rid my garden of alien intruders, I automatically started pulling just a few small weeds, and after a few minutes of this found it was almost impossible to stop.

It was therapautic.

Finally I was getting my hands back in the dirt (and rocks) and seeing some changes in my garden.

I pulled and heaved and ripped and threw.

Ripping those massive weeds (small trees?) out wasn't as difficult as I thought because the root systems were so completely drenched. The satisfaction of destroying what had been subconsiously annoying me for weeks was worth the muscle straining, broken nails and mud splattered clothes.

I felt like I was becoming one with nature, ridding the world of one less ugly stem and making way hopefully for something beautiful.

About 10 minutes later, I really was on a roll pulling out gazillions of annoying weeds that had threatened to overtake the entire back yard. The kids were getting hungry, and the dog was watching me from a distance (thankfully the mud & flying weeds were keeping them all at bay) but I just couldn't stop.

Dinner and the masses would have to wait.

It wasn't until I had finally cleared the ground that I noticed one out of place 'non-weed'.

A beautiful long stem with a long yellow bud that was completely straight and facing heavenward.

A treasure in the muck and mud of my weed sodden patch of dirt.

A seed must have blown into my 'non-garden' and made it's home next to my ugly weed patch, to then grow it's precious shoot that may never have been seen by man if I hadn't impulsively, accidentally decided to de-weed!

A small blessing that literally bought the verse I read today back down to earth..

"For as surely as the earth brings forth its shoots, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring forth, so surely the Lord God will cause rightness and justice and praise to spring forth before all the nations through the self-fulfilling power of His Word." Is 61:11

The Message version inspires me to fill my secret garden with flowers & blooms...

"For as the earth bursts with spring wildflowers,
and as a garden cascades with blossoms,
So the Master, God, brings righteousness into full bloom
and puts praise on display before the nations."

The earth in my back yard bought forth its shoot all by itself. It's what the earth does. I love that! My garden guarantees to spring forth what is sown (when it's owner actually sows it!!!)

So God will bring forth what is right and just before men - before the nations - through the power of His Word.

It's what He does.

He will bring it before men through the promises that lie dormant like seeds waiting to be activated. They are treasures more beautiful than the wildflowers and blossoms that we see in our natural eye - reminders of what we have that is unseen.

Rightness, justice and praise - beautiful shoots springing out of the ground that may be surrounded by threatening weeds and rocks, but they will grow taller and stronger. And the weeds (of darkness, of pain, of evil) will be ripped out one by one.

And then their life giving beauty and glory which was hidden from man will be seen - and His word will be fulfilled.

So today the weeds are all gone, and my lone flower is standing tall and has literally burst open to display its wonder to the inhabitants of my backyard (me and the dog!!).

A very small but significant reminder to me of His promises, and His goodness.

Neverending

"How much do you love mummy?" I asked my youngest son while tucking him to bed last night.
"Neverending." he replied with a grin.

I knew that would be his answer.

It started a month ago when I asked him the same question. He thought for a moment and then whispered into my ear as earnestly as he could..."Neverending". It caught me by surprise because I was expecting him to say, "A million bottles of milk" or something more predictable. But 'neverending' caught me off guard.

I recently looked up its meaning, the first, most obvious was 'having no end' - the second was more thought provoking : "uninterrupted in time and indefinitely long continuing"

From my six year old's sweet little mind he chose this word to express his love for me. For my mothers heart it was 'a very special moment'.

The next night while saying prayers I whispered, "Do you know how much Mummy loves you?"
"How much?" he asked.
"Neverending."

From then on it has been our little goodnight routine. When he's upset I use it to remind him how loved he is, and it guarantees a smile on his tear stained face. And when I ask him 'how much do I love you' he always knows the answer.

It's our word.

Last week before school we had a special little moment when I asked him if he knew how much God loved him.
He thought for a second or two, and then answered with certainty, "Neverending."

Dan is growing up knowing he is loved, that's for sure!

Heaven's real love is like that - powerful, endless, eternal, 'indefinite'...

Neverending.

Like the ring that has no end.

It doesn't matter what we say, do, think or speak - we are loved by our Creator... because we are the created! Just like I love Dan because he is my son and I am the Mum.

His love is unconditional, intentional, indescribable.

It's the same love that propelled Jesus to heal the sick, broken hearted and unloved, to bring life to death, to die for humanity....

It's the same love that counts all the hairs on my head and had thoughts of you and me before we were born.

"My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret...your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days of my life were written before ever they took shape..." Psalm139

Now if that's not neverending love, what is?

"Love never fails (never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end)" 1Cor 13

I LOVE that this amazing, priceless gift that was in the beginning and through to eternity is also my very own treasure to keep. I am guaranteed a wellspring of love to sustain me through my pilgrimage of life - through the lowest of valleys to the most beautiful of mountains (Lord of the Rings type mountains!)

Dan is sleeping peacefully now, completely unaware that I have been writing about our special word, but I am praying that in the years to come he will have a revelation of God's all consuming, amazing love for him - and with that knowledge there will be no stopping him as he runs his race through to the finish line.

His future is still ahead of him.

Filled with hope. Neverending.

The 'most' secret place

“For the Word of God is living and active and sharper than any two edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of the soul & spirit, of both joints & marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart” Hebrews 4:12

The Word of God – our best ever instruction manual!

You just can’t read it like another book. It is “living and active”.

Alive.

Sometimes the only way to activate its power is to allow His life giving word access to your secret places - your soul and your spirit - the place which is sometimes the hardest to visit.

Funny how we will travel to the other side of the world to visit the remotest village or English secret garden, but the journey to the hidden places of our soul can be the most difficult (yet most extraordinary and worthwhile) traverse.

This place is where the questions of eternity are examined. They are where our actions, our words and our thoughts are determined.

It can be a prison or a haven, surrounded by walls of fear or words of life.

Our inner vows live here, as do our secrets. Our deepest dreams are grown here too, waiting for the pruning, shaping and healing of His truths and reality to transform our heart and set us upon our high places.

This scripture is one of those that truly pierces my heart with its unwavering truth. Each word from the Bible has the ability to penetrate our walls & pretences as we attempt to protect our vulnerabilities and keep an amount of control in our lives. (so loving definition of 'pierce' : to cut or make a way through; move or affect a person's emotions or bodily feelings deeply or sharply)

This verse speaks truth and authenticity to me. It highlights the power of the Spirit of God to bring life and sustenance to our soul.

The ability to finally see our true selves.

Usually it is during the stormiest, loneliest seasons of our lives that the Word of God has even more ability to penetrate our souls & spirits. God will give us one verse, one word, one truth that is so amazingly just for us.

Have you experienced that before? You have been praying for breakthrough, for ‘a word from God’, for direction... and when you least expect it someone in your world gives you a verse which hits your heart.

You hold onto it as a lifeline. You write it in your journal. Post in on the fridge or the toilet door. Hide it in the secret place in your heart.

It's so true that one word from God is more precious than one thousand from man.

I was recently speaking to a new friend. She has been experiencing years of pain and had been seeking God for a word. She was sitting in church last week next to a beautiful old lady and they started a conversation. Within minutes this dear woman gave my friend a verse to encourage her which was the exact same verse someone else had given her.

Now she is researching this verse and pulling it apart to seek the truth that God is obviously wanting to reveal to her. It is her word from heaven for this season in her life. Her journey of pain is also a journey of growth in the spiritual realm.

This verse has become a treasure which now resides in her secret place.

I love the analogy of the two edged sword. How amazing that God’s beautiful word is sharper than the sharpest of swords (which are sharp on each side of the point) which can pierce between our soul and our spirit.

Don Piper explains it well in his book “Pierced by the Word”;

“Soul and spirit are like bone joint and bone marrow. “Soul” is that invisible dimension of our life that we are by nature. “Spirit” is what we are by supernatural rebirth……without the awakening, creative, regenerating work of the Spirit of God in us we are merely natural rather than spiritual.”

When we regularly read the Word of God, either through regular devotions or a bible reading plan, we are feeding our spirit and bringing a greater arena of discernment and truth into our lives. Our spirit will be quickened to areas that need to be addressed. The Word of God will pierce through the confusion and bring light to our thoughts.

The daily choices, motives and intents of our heart are more likely to be aligned with heaven as we stay connected to the pure word of God, and immerse our spirit with His words of life.

It’s been a while since I have visited my secret place, but I am looking forward to the changes in my life when I have allowed the “sharper than any two edged sword” Word to visit there first.

I am looking forward to the journey.