Last week I visited a lady I met just over a year ago when she bought a bed from me. We swapped phone numbers and have been in contact ever since.She has six children and lives a life that seems shadowed by the past. Day to day existence, and chaos within her walls.
She is fighting for sanity. Some days, she is fighting to survive....
Often I find her in the same spot, just standing there. She stands on her verandah, rolled cigarette in one hand, steaming coffee in the other, and stares out past her prized cactus patch as if looking for someone familiar.
I have dropped by for many reasons.
Once I dropped around two coffee mugs. One with the word LOVE & the other with the word HOPE in bold, bright letters....a small gift in comparison to the great need of this single mum, but when I dropped them around it meant the world to her that day.
On my last visit, a little kitten brushed past my leg as I was absentmindedly chatting to her and the kids. It looked like a little tiger, so small and defenseless...and its cuteness must have messed with my reasoning skills, as I really didn't think very rationally from that moment on. She had put an ad in the paper for the litter of unwanted kittens, but I felt it was almost impossible to put the kitten back on the lounge chair with her brood of brothers & sisters...so I didn't.
I took it home, and just assumed the rest of the family would be equally besotted at the cute little tiger kitten.
We (my daughter, son and I) named her Esther on the way home.
When you name something, it becomes personal. I should have realised this at some point on my drive home. However, reasoning still had not returned so I wrongly still believed we were taking her home to live with us forever!
As we walked through the doorway, it then dawned on me that our other cat may not appreciate the newest visitor as much as I did. He was used to the primary attention of our five children, who, for the last fourteen years have given their love, attention and laps to our much adored family pet.
I should add at this point that we also have two dogs, two chickens, a budgie and a dozen fish...not to mention the rodents that didn't survive over the years...guinea pigs, mice, another chicken (murdered by our dog) and a few other birds..
Needless to say, my husband was not impressed.
"You can't bring every stray home that you find!" he reprimanded.
"I don't!" If only he knew how many creatures I am tempted to bring home...
We tried everything, but after two days, the deadline was up, and Esther had to go. Dad had spoken, and after pleading, silence, begging and finally...tears!!... I realised he was right. And so did the kids.
It seemed our cat had sunk into a cat 'depression'. If we went near him, he hissed. He curled up on the dining room chair & stayed there most of the day!. He wouldn't let any of us pick him up. He truly had his feline nose out of joint.
The family dynamics had changed with the unannounced arrival of Esther. I thought it would work, but even the kids were ready for her to leave. They wanted our cat to love them again.
Taking Esther back to her 'family' was very difficult for me. They were a family of stray cats really. They existed on the premises, but they often weren't fed, and they weren't staying there. They were destined to fight for survival themselves...
I dropped off Esther and a stack of kitten food, and after checking numerous times that she would be cuddled and they would keep her name, I drove away.
I started thinking then. I thought about how many 'strays' there are in the world that I can't bring home. Forget about unwanted pets, I was thinking about the orphans...the faceless unwanted children that we can't bring home because our family dynamics would be so greatly affected that it would mess with our family lives - our routines - our systems....our hearts.
It gets messy, taking in strays. It hurts. Just like our cat felt rejected and unwanted, replaced...the dynamics change.
I thought about what we can do even if we can't bring them home. And most of the time we can't. Not our home anyway.
But there is always something - big or small - that I can do.
Often I find her in the same spot, just standing there. She stands on her verandah, rolled cigarette in one hand, steaming coffee in the other, and stares out past her prized cactus patch as if looking for someone familiar.
I have dropped by for many reasons.
Once I dropped around two coffee mugs. One with the word LOVE & the other with the word HOPE in bold, bright letters....a small gift in comparison to the great need of this single mum, but when I dropped them around it meant the world to her that day.
On my last visit, a little kitten brushed past my leg as I was absentmindedly chatting to her and the kids. It looked like a little tiger, so small and defenseless...and its cuteness must have messed with my reasoning skills, as I really didn't think very rationally from that moment on. She had put an ad in the paper for the litter of unwanted kittens, but I felt it was almost impossible to put the kitten back on the lounge chair with her brood of brothers & sisters...so I didn't.
I took it home, and just assumed the rest of the family would be equally besotted at the cute little tiger kitten.
We (my daughter, son and I) named her Esther on the way home.
When you name something, it becomes personal. I should have realised this at some point on my drive home. However, reasoning still had not returned so I wrongly still believed we were taking her home to live with us forever!
As we walked through the doorway, it then dawned on me that our other cat may not appreciate the newest visitor as much as I did. He was used to the primary attention of our five children, who, for the last fourteen years have given their love, attention and laps to our much adored family pet.
I should add at this point that we also have two dogs, two chickens, a budgie and a dozen fish...not to mention the rodents that didn't survive over the years...guinea pigs, mice, another chicken (murdered by our dog) and a few other birds..
Needless to say, my husband was not impressed.
"You can't bring every stray home that you find!" he reprimanded.
"I don't!" If only he knew how many creatures I am tempted to bring home...
We tried everything, but after two days, the deadline was up, and Esther had to go. Dad had spoken, and after pleading, silence, begging and finally...tears!!... I realised he was right. And so did the kids.
It seemed our cat had sunk into a cat 'depression'. If we went near him, he hissed. He curled up on the dining room chair & stayed there most of the day!. He wouldn't let any of us pick him up. He truly had his feline nose out of joint.
The family dynamics had changed with the unannounced arrival of Esther. I thought it would work, but even the kids were ready for her to leave. They wanted our cat to love them again.
Taking Esther back to her 'family' was very difficult for me. They were a family of stray cats really. They existed on the premises, but they often weren't fed, and they weren't staying there. They were destined to fight for survival themselves...
I dropped off Esther and a stack of kitten food, and after checking numerous times that she would be cuddled and they would keep her name, I drove away.
I started thinking then. I thought about how many 'strays' there are in the world that I can't bring home. Forget about unwanted pets, I was thinking about the orphans...the faceless unwanted children that we can't bring home because our family dynamics would be so greatly affected that it would mess with our family lives - our routines - our systems....our hearts.
It gets messy, taking in strays. It hurts. Just like our cat felt rejected and unwanted, replaced...the dynamics change.
I thought about what we can do even if we can't bring them home. And most of the time we can't. Not our home anyway.
But there is always something - big or small - that I can do.
I can sponsor a child. I can send money. I can love someone.
I can be a voice for those who have no voice.
It seems almost overwhelming when you think of the great need of the third world. But when you make a difference in one little life, whether it is a child or a kitten, you are changing the world.
I can be a voice for those who have no voice.
It seems almost overwhelming when you think of the great need of the third world. But when you make a difference in one little life, whether it is a child or a kitten, you are changing the world.
I often think of Leo, the boy I met on the streets of Cambodia on the last day of my visit. He slept all night in the gutter. Through a translator I found out he had no home. I gave him food, water, toothpaste and a toothbrush. And I held his hand.
He was the same age as my son.
I wanted to take him home off the streets. If I could have I would have. That would have disrupted the family dynamics!
But all I can do is pray. And keep doing something - even if it's small.
Because to Esther... and Leo....small is big.
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