The stray that couldn't stay....

Last week I visited a lady I met just over a year ago when she bought a bed from me. We swapped phone numbers and have been in contact ever since.

She has six children and lives a life that seems shadowed by the past. Day to day existence, and chaos within her walls.

She is fighting for sanity. Some days, she is fighting to survive....

Often I find her in the same spot, just standing there. She stands on her verandah, rolled cigarette in one hand, steaming coffee in the other, and stares out past her prized cactus patch as if looking for someone familiar.

I have dropped by for many reasons.

Once I dropped around two coffee mugs. One with the word LOVE & the other with the word HOPE in bold, bright letters....a small gift in comparison to the great need of this single mum, but when I dropped them around it meant the world to her that day.

On my last visit, a little kitten brushed past my leg as I was absentmindedly chatting to her and the kids. It looked like a little tiger, so small and defenseless...and its cuteness must have messed with my reasoning skills, as I really didn't think very rationally from that moment on. She had put an ad in the paper for the litter of unwanted kittens, but I felt it was almost impossible to put the kitten back on the lounge chair with her brood of brothers & sisters...so I didn't.

I took it home, and just assumed the rest of the family would be equally besotted at the cute little tiger kitten.

We (my daughter, son and I) named her Esther on the way home.

When you name something, it becomes personal. I should have realised this at some point on my drive home. However, reasoning still had not returned so I wrongly still believed we were taking her home to live with us forever!

As we walked through the doorway, it then dawned on me that our other cat may not appreciate the newest visitor as much as I did. He was used to the primary attention of our five children, who, for the last fourteen years have given their love, attention and laps to our much adored family pet.

I should add at this point that we also have two dogs, two chickens, a budgie and a dozen fish...not to mention the rodents that didn't survive over the years...guinea pigs, mice, another chicken (murdered by our dog) and a few other birds..

Needless to say, my husband was not impressed.
"You can't bring every stray home that you find!" he reprimanded.
"I don't!" If only he knew how many creatures I am tempted to bring home...

We tried everything, but after two days, the deadline was up, and Esther had to go. Dad had spoken, and after pleading, silence, begging and finally...tears!!... I realised he was right. And so did the kids.

It seemed our cat had sunk into a cat 'depression'. If we went near him, he hissed. He curled up on the dining room chair & stayed there most of the day!. He wouldn't let any of us pick him up. He truly had his feline nose out of joint.

The family dynamics had changed with the unannounced arrival of Esther. I thought it would work, but even the kids were ready for her to leave. They wanted our cat to love them again.

Taking Esther back to her 'family' was very difficult for me. They were a family of stray cats really. They existed on the premises, but they often weren't fed, and they weren't staying there. They were destined to fight for survival themselves...

I dropped off Esther and a stack of kitten food, and after checking numerous times that she would be cuddled and they would keep her name, I drove away.

I started thinking then. I thought about how many 'strays' there are in the world that I can't bring home. Forget about unwanted pets, I was thinking about the orphans...the faceless unwanted children that we can't bring home because our family dynamics would be so greatly affected that it would mess with our family lives - our routines - our systems....our hearts.

It gets messy, taking in strays. It hurts. Just like our cat felt rejected and unwanted, replaced...the dynamics change.

I thought about what we can do even if we can't bring them home. And most of the time we can't. Not our home anyway.

But there is always something - big or small - that I can do.

I can sponsor a child. I can send money. I can love someone.

I can be a voice for those who have no voice.

It seems almost overwhelming when you think of the great need of the third world. But when you make a difference in one little life, whether it is a child or a kitten, you are changing the world.

I often think of Leo, the boy I met on the streets of Cambodia on the last day of my visit. He slept all night in the gutter. Through a translator I found out he had no home. I gave him food, water, toothpaste and a toothbrush. And I held his hand.

He was the same age as my son.

I wanted to take him home off the streets. If I could have I would have. That would have disrupted the family dynamics!

But all I can do is pray. And keep doing something - even if it's small.

Because to Esther... and Leo....small is big.

The Last Note

My daughter turned 16 last week. It was an eventful week with preparations for her party underway, and on her birthday she was singing & playing piano in front of the entire high school. It was very exciting to be performing on her special day. I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

The day of her birthday arrived, and after a morning of presents & celebrations she was off to school.

It was then that my day began to unravel.

We had borrowed a set of disco lights from a friend for her party. We discovered that morning that the fuse (or something more sinister) had broken & my job was to find a replacement. Easier said then done. 'Needle in a haystack' is the phrase that comes to mind. When the vital fuse was finally discovered after trips to Dick Smiths, Tandy's & every inch of the yellow pages, it still didn't work.

So we hired another set of disco lights. Problem solved.

I had been writing her a poem over the last week...my attempt to sum up the last 16 years of her life, which then morphed into a 24 verse epic. This became unprintable as my computer was obviously illiterate!! Her birthday would be over that night & it was so important to me that she got her poem - on her birthday!

After many more attempts to print the poem, I then sent my husband the unsaved original copy by mistake, so the wrong version arrived on my doorstep later that morning. You'd think getting a poem printed would be easy! Long story short the final (correct) copy arrived in my hands at 10.30pm that night, and then into hers.

Could have been worse. Another potential disaster averted!

After cleaning the house that same morning, I had intended to do a 'party food, decorations, prizes & games' shop, order the birthday cake & arrive with time to spare at her school assembly. Fuse & poem problems aside, I still had time!

Then the phone rang.

My youngest son had a medical ailment that needed immediate attention (the sick bay nurse informed). I realised then that I had given myself no room to move, as now I needed to drop everything & find a doctor. We had a long weekend coming up, and my son needed antibiotics & fungal cream ASAP.

Obviously the rest of Brisbane needed fungal cream, as no doctors in Brisbane were free, except one that I avoided calling (until the last minute) for reasons I remembered a few hours later.

I arrived with my son to a full waiting room, an hour & ten minutes before my daughters performance. I had just enough time.

We waited, and waited and waited. I then realised that there was one doctor to see everyone in the waiting room, and there were more sick cases arriving by the minute!! My frustration was shared by another woman who had enough when the doctor bypassed her for the second time. She was next in line, but he popped his head out & randomly chose a lady sitting closest to his door. As I watched the confrontation between her & the receptionist, who confirmed she had been the next patient, I realised that my chances of getting there were going to be very slim.

After an hour, we were the next in line! I still had 10 minutes before the assembly. It was then that the doctor took a toilet break. This lasted another 5 minutes. I wanted to run out but there was no room for the rest of the day, and my son's health had to come first.

When he finally came back, we were called in & I experienced the fastest doctor's visit of my 17 years of mothering. One minute & we were out the door, prescriptions in hand.

There are no words that describe the frustration of really bad timing on the roads. I didn't speed, but I did get every red light back to the school.

We finally got there, and I bolted through the doors, son in hand. My daughter was on stage playing the piano, and I arrived just in time.... to hear her last note.

It was a beautiful long note, one that I will always treasure, as that will be my only memory of her performance.

I was in the auditorium for no more than two seconds, when her song ended & everyone clapped & cheered. My husband raced over & tried to make me feel better.

"It was amazing!" "You would have loved it!!" Yep that helped.

I fought back the tears & tried to find something positive. I could have missed the last note. That is true.

Rach found me & was lovely as ever. She saw me come in right at the end. And she understood I tried my best to make it.

The rest of the afternoon I thought about the emotions I felt missing most of her song. I took my son back to the surgery for further attention, & realised that I had to choose between two of my children - my son who was sick or my daughter on her special day. Obviously my son's health was a priority.

As stressed as I was, I still saw the God moment in the whole frustrating episode.

The last note - so beautiful & worth everything just to hear it.

But I would have much preferred to hear the whole song.

How much of our lives does God hear? Is He hearing our song or just a few notes.

I often wonder if I frustrate God. The many times I go around in circles, trying to live my life properly - but not including Him in my plans. How many times do my plans not turn out the way I expected.

Is my life the song that God was waiting for??

I can almost see Him leaning in - listening for the notes, the beats & the beauty of the song He created me to sing. If not for anybody else to hear - but for Him.

You see - I missed my daughters performance - but He heard every note.

Each of us have a symphony to play for the One who hears. I don't have to be everywhere. I shouldn't put that expectation on myself. The world will still keep turning even if I don't show up once in a while.

My daughter sung her heart out, and I know it pleased God, as well as everyone who were blessed enough to hear.

And that one lovely note was a gift that I am so thankful to have heard. A little treasure to hold on to - also a reminder that the song I am singing every day - my life song - is for Him.

And the song you are singing - every kind word, every act of obedience, the small things as well as the big that happen every day - it's all for Him.

He hears it all.

Salt air

I don't know about you, but there have been quite a number of moments during the rollercoaster ride of my life where I have realised (way too late) that a breather; a basic retreat; a chance to 'stop & smell the roses' is a necessity - not a luxury.

That happened to me recently. I realised that if I didn't make some plans I would grind to a screeching halt and stop functioning anyway. I would be no use to myself or the world around me. Nothing had changed to tip me 'almost' over the edge, but I was fighting to get basic errands done. I was fighting to keep my joy.

Walking the dog seemed like a triathalon I couldn't face.

Reading my Bible was an uphill battle as the words tried to swim away.... so much for my speed reading course in Grade 12!

Apathy was creeping into my soul and I didn't know why. It just was.

I also realised that I missed my children.

Between work, school, sports, chores & life's responsibilities I felt I was missing the moments - long uninterrupted moments with my favourite people. I was sure they were growing an inch a week (which would explain the growing food consumption in our home) and the foreboding reality that they will one day leave the nest rang truer with my 18 year old son driving to work every day...

Change doesn't happen until you do something. I just had to open my diary, find a space, and make it happen. So I cancelled a few appointments, made plans to get away & reboot, and then got on with getting through my days.

As my 'getaway' date finally arrived, it turned out I had made a wonderful choice.

I moved to a little granny flat right by the sea, & finally stopped.

Each morning my three boys & I walked the winding path that led to the beach. As soon as the water was in view they sprinted away & left me to my mountain of thoughts.

I walked slowly along the waters edge and breathed the salt air deep into my lungs. It felt good.

I sat down and stared at the water lapping the sand - back and forward, back and forward - a rhythmic beat of the sea set in place since the world began - erasing footprints of the past; cleansing debris, seaweed, froth & bubble; healing...

I thought about how much I try to slow down, and how often I fail.

If there were two things I wanted to learn it was this: 1) the art of stopping 2) The art of hearing.

You can't hear if you don't stop.

Listening is a wonderful character attribute which I feared I was losing.

I watched my boys shrieking in the water & having sand fights, running like boys should, free & wild.

There were no time limits. I stayed as long as I wanted to & took in the blues of the sea & peacefulness of the rippling sand, laced with the most perfect groups of sand balls circling little holes. Home for little white crabs.

Days passed quietly. We read books. We played games and painted on canvases. I made dinner slowly, & ate slowly - enjoying every mouthful.

Deep in my soul I was beginning to listen and contemplate what I had.

Small is big, when you think about it. Small things are important.

The ability to see; to breathe; to stop. The kisses on a child's cheek. Smiles of encouragement. The prayers of a mother. The memories of a special day. The dreams of tomorrow.

It is so easy to get so caught up in the day to day 'doings' that we forget how lavishly blessed and wonderfully loved we really are....

The salt air was doing me good, as I realised on the sixth day. My heart was beginning to sing.

Every colour of dusk was intrinsically wonderful to me. The burnt orange of the sunset. The deep grey of the clouds. I stood with the sand squidging between my toes and took in as much as I could, because tomorrow I was going home.

I wanted to breathe in the memory of this moment and keep it forever.

As I lay on the sand and took a photo of the clouds, a thought popped into my head that this cloud formation would never look like this again. I was more than likely the only person in the world to take it in, and appreciate its wonder.

So I lay and took it in, until another thought joined my first one.

I realised that I can go home and have this too. I can walk outside and see the colours of dusk. I can look up and see glimpses of heaven. My seaside retreat reminded me that I have what I need at home.

I have the sustainer of life within me. He is everywhere - not just at the sea.

So with that simple revelation dancing in my heart, I soon packed up, and a very relaxed, sunkissed me once again decided to make the most of the moments. I won't just live from one break to the next.

I will cherish today today and think about tomorrow...tomorrow.

I will breathe in the air and thank God that I can breathe it in, whatever its fragrance.

I will stop (wherever I am) more and I will listen (wherever I am) more.

And I will get on with living.

PS Although (I just have to say) my week by the sea to 'stop and smell the salt air' was very good. As good as medicine for the soul!

staying on track

Last Friday I surprised my eight year old son and gave him the day off school. An excursion with Mum! It turned out to be an unexpectedly long excursion with a few extra twists and turns.

Jayden had been asking to go on a train on and off for ages, and over the Christmas holidays I had promised to take him on one. It didn't happen and school began with an unfulfilled promise. I made a note to take him on a train (before next Christmas!) and last week found myself with a spare day.

I packed an extra set of clothes and loved watching his face light up as we drove past the school and on to Grandma's place! We parked the car and then set off on our walk to the train (with a bag of goodies & kisses from Grandma).

I showed him the exact route I had taken to high school for five years. Ten minutes to the train station, then a half hour train trip into Southbank.

So much had changed at every turn. The train station had been completely renovated (you would expect this after twenty years!) but a lot of the scenery was the same as I remembered.

Jayden was thrilled going through the tunnels and I loved his wide eyed wonder as he pointed out different landmarks that caught his attention.

We passed Southbank onto Central Station, hopped off & hurried through the crowds to Post Office Square. The buskers were still busking in their same places, and gave Jayden a wave as he threw them his change. What a difference music makes to an old walkway.

We wandered slowly through the mall and through to a games arcade, then ate lunch while watching men and women on a stage getting their head shaved (and sprayed pink) for Leukemia.

After crossing the bridge bank to Southbank and enjoying the best New Zealand ice cream (spearmint!) we started to run for the train station. It was pouring!

"It's all worked out perfectly!" I assured Jayden as we boarded the train that arrived at the exact time as we did. How convenient!! I didn't even think about checking the FRONT of the train - something I should have known to do after five years of catching the train!

About 10 minutes passed as we zoomed through tunnels and over bridges. I was lost in thought thinking about my growing TO DO list to plow through when I got home, and Jayden had his eyes fixed on the world outside.

It wasn't until I heard "Murarrie, Murarrie Station" that my senses started to tingle. "Why are we in Murarrie?" I thought to myself. How odd! Then it dawned on me that I hadn't actually recognised ANY of the stations (or scenery) we had passed for a number of stations. I had literally 'zoned out' since we left Southbank. REALLY bad timing!

Jayden was oblivious to my quickening sense of dread as the reality of my mistake began to sink in. It was obvious we were NOT on the Beenleigh train, but on our way to Cleveland!!! We were SO far away from our station it wasn't funny AND I had just discovered that my mobile phone was flat.

Some excursion.

We got off at Hemmant and stood for a while in the middle of nowhere. It was about 2pm (as far as I could tell from the sun) and there was only one other person on the station.

Jayden thought the whole situation was very funny. "It's all worked out perfectly" he said in a high pitched voice trying to mimick me. After that all he cared about was the likelihood of a toilet. There was none at this station.

All I cared about was a train in the opposite direction!

I felt so silly taking my son on such a wild goose chase. After so many years getting it right how could I have stuffed up so badly???

I think I just got complacent. I was so sure of myself, and then when I was on the wrong track I didn't even realise. The scenery had changed dramatically and I couldn't even tell.

It makes you think about life, and where we are headed. You can be going in the wrong direction - changing direction slowly - and not even know it.

Until you're a long way away.

Then you end up stuck in a place you have never been before, with a sudden sense of urgency that all you want to be is home, back on track and travelling in the RIGHT direction!

We finally got a train back to Park Road. Then we had to wait while three trains passed by.

People got on. People got off. Jayden spun around. He played with a piece of metal he found on the ground. And some stones.

I asked a number of people the time, and triple checked the front of each train that passed us by. I wasn't going to get it wrong again!

Then we sat and talked, and just enjoyed being together.

We were in the middle of nowhere, with a train to catch (hopefully!) and time seemed to stand still for a while.

By the time we got home, we both thought the whole 'train mix up disaster' was actually very funny - and I realised that it had all been an adventure for Jayden.

I'm pretty sure we will always remember the day we went to the city, played arcade games, ran in the rain, and caught four trains!!!

Treasure in the dirt patch

I have a small patch of dirt in my backyard which I am planning to one day transform into a secret haven - a little patch of garden heaven - well that's the plan!

Right now you would probably not see past the thick mass of weeds, rocks and broken toys that have multiplied before my eyes - especially after the recent torrents of rain.

Yesterday I ventured out just before dinner and surveyed the menacing weeds which I am sure were not ten foot yesterday. It was really ugly, and looked impenetrable.

So while deep in thought about my dilemma of how to rid my garden of alien intruders, I automatically started pulling just a few small weeds, and after a few minutes of this found it was almost impossible to stop.

It was therapautic.

Finally I was getting my hands back in the dirt (and rocks) and seeing some changes in my garden.

I pulled and heaved and ripped and threw.

Ripping those massive weeds (small trees?) out wasn't as difficult as I thought because the root systems were so completely drenched. The satisfaction of destroying what had been subconsiously annoying me for weeks was worth the muscle straining, broken nails and mud splattered clothes.

I felt like I was becoming one with nature, ridding the world of one less ugly stem and making way hopefully for something beautiful.

About 10 minutes later, I really was on a roll pulling out gazillions of annoying weeds that had threatened to overtake the entire back yard. The kids were getting hungry, and the dog was watching me from a distance (thankfully the mud & flying weeds were keeping them all at bay) but I just couldn't stop.

Dinner and the masses would have to wait.

It wasn't until I had finally cleared the ground that I noticed one out of place 'non-weed'.

A beautiful long stem with a long yellow bud that was completely straight and facing heavenward.

A treasure in the muck and mud of my weed sodden patch of dirt.

A seed must have blown into my 'non-garden' and made it's home next to my ugly weed patch, to then grow it's precious shoot that may never have been seen by man if I hadn't impulsively, accidentally decided to de-weed!

A small blessing that literally bought the verse I read today back down to earth..

"For as surely as the earth brings forth its shoots, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring forth, so surely the Lord God will cause rightness and justice and praise to spring forth before all the nations through the self-fulfilling power of His Word." Is 61:11

The Message version inspires me to fill my secret garden with flowers & blooms...

"For as the earth bursts with spring wildflowers,
and as a garden cascades with blossoms,
So the Master, God, brings righteousness into full bloom
and puts praise on display before the nations."

The earth in my back yard bought forth its shoot all by itself. It's what the earth does. I love that! My garden guarantees to spring forth what is sown (when it's owner actually sows it!!!)

So God will bring forth what is right and just before men - before the nations - through the power of His Word.

It's what He does.

He will bring it before men through the promises that lie dormant like seeds waiting to be activated. They are treasures more beautiful than the wildflowers and blossoms that we see in our natural eye - reminders of what we have that is unseen.

Rightness, justice and praise - beautiful shoots springing out of the ground that may be surrounded by threatening weeds and rocks, but they will grow taller and stronger. And the weeds (of darkness, of pain, of evil) will be ripped out one by one.

And then their life giving beauty and glory which was hidden from man will be seen - and His word will be fulfilled.

So today the weeds are all gone, and my lone flower is standing tall and has literally burst open to display its wonder to the inhabitants of my backyard (me and the dog!!).

A very small but significant reminder to me of His promises, and His goodness.

Neverending

"How much do you love mummy?" I asked my youngest son while tucking him to bed last night.
"Neverending." he replied with a grin.

I knew that would be his answer.

It started a month ago when I asked him the same question. He thought for a moment and then whispered into my ear as earnestly as he could..."Neverending". It caught me by surprise because I was expecting him to say, "A million bottles of milk" or something more predictable. But 'neverending' caught me off guard.

I recently looked up its meaning, the first, most obvious was 'having no end' - the second was more thought provoking : "uninterrupted in time and indefinitely long continuing"

From my six year old's sweet little mind he chose this word to express his love for me. For my mothers heart it was 'a very special moment'.

The next night while saying prayers I whispered, "Do you know how much Mummy loves you?"
"How much?" he asked.
"Neverending."

From then on it has been our little goodnight routine. When he's upset I use it to remind him how loved he is, and it guarantees a smile on his tear stained face. And when I ask him 'how much do I love you' he always knows the answer.

It's our word.

Last week before school we had a special little moment when I asked him if he knew how much God loved him.
He thought for a second or two, and then answered with certainty, "Neverending."

Dan is growing up knowing he is loved, that's for sure!

Heaven's real love is like that - powerful, endless, eternal, 'indefinite'...

Neverending.

Like the ring that has no end.

It doesn't matter what we say, do, think or speak - we are loved by our Creator... because we are the created! Just like I love Dan because he is my son and I am the Mum.

His love is unconditional, intentional, indescribable.

It's the same love that propelled Jesus to heal the sick, broken hearted and unloved, to bring life to death, to die for humanity....

It's the same love that counts all the hairs on my head and had thoughts of you and me before we were born.

"My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret...your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days of my life were written before ever they took shape..." Psalm139

Now if that's not neverending love, what is?

"Love never fails (never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end)" 1Cor 13

I LOVE that this amazing, priceless gift that was in the beginning and through to eternity is also my very own treasure to keep. I am guaranteed a wellspring of love to sustain me through my pilgrimage of life - through the lowest of valleys to the most beautiful of mountains (Lord of the Rings type mountains!)

Dan is sleeping peacefully now, completely unaware that I have been writing about our special word, but I am praying that in the years to come he will have a revelation of God's all consuming, amazing love for him - and with that knowledge there will be no stopping him as he runs his race through to the finish line.

His future is still ahead of him.

Filled with hope. Neverending.

The 'most' secret place

“For the Word of God is living and active and sharper than any two edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of the soul & spirit, of both joints & marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart” Hebrews 4:12

The Word of God – our best ever instruction manual!

You just can’t read it like another book. It is “living and active”.

Alive.

Sometimes the only way to activate its power is to allow His life giving word access to your secret places - your soul and your spirit - the place which is sometimes the hardest to visit.

Funny how we will travel to the other side of the world to visit the remotest village or English secret garden, but the journey to the hidden places of our soul can be the most difficult (yet most extraordinary and worthwhile) traverse.

This place is where the questions of eternity are examined. They are where our actions, our words and our thoughts are determined.

It can be a prison or a haven, surrounded by walls of fear or words of life.

Our inner vows live here, as do our secrets. Our deepest dreams are grown here too, waiting for the pruning, shaping and healing of His truths and reality to transform our heart and set us upon our high places.

This scripture is one of those that truly pierces my heart with its unwavering truth. Each word from the Bible has the ability to penetrate our walls & pretences as we attempt to protect our vulnerabilities and keep an amount of control in our lives. (so loving definition of 'pierce' : to cut or make a way through; move or affect a person's emotions or bodily feelings deeply or sharply)

This verse speaks truth and authenticity to me. It highlights the power of the Spirit of God to bring life and sustenance to our soul.

The ability to finally see our true selves.

Usually it is during the stormiest, loneliest seasons of our lives that the Word of God has even more ability to penetrate our souls & spirits. God will give us one verse, one word, one truth that is so amazingly just for us.

Have you experienced that before? You have been praying for breakthrough, for ‘a word from God’, for direction... and when you least expect it someone in your world gives you a verse which hits your heart.

You hold onto it as a lifeline. You write it in your journal. Post in on the fridge or the toilet door. Hide it in the secret place in your heart.

It's so true that one word from God is more precious than one thousand from man.

I was recently speaking to a new friend. She has been experiencing years of pain and had been seeking God for a word. She was sitting in church last week next to a beautiful old lady and they started a conversation. Within minutes this dear woman gave my friend a verse to encourage her which was the exact same verse someone else had given her.

Now she is researching this verse and pulling it apart to seek the truth that God is obviously wanting to reveal to her. It is her word from heaven for this season in her life. Her journey of pain is also a journey of growth in the spiritual realm.

This verse has become a treasure which now resides in her secret place.

I love the analogy of the two edged sword. How amazing that God’s beautiful word is sharper than the sharpest of swords (which are sharp on each side of the point) which can pierce between our soul and our spirit.

Don Piper explains it well in his book “Pierced by the Word”;

“Soul and spirit are like bone joint and bone marrow. “Soul” is that invisible dimension of our life that we are by nature. “Spirit” is what we are by supernatural rebirth……without the awakening, creative, regenerating work of the Spirit of God in us we are merely natural rather than spiritual.”

When we regularly read the Word of God, either through regular devotions or a bible reading plan, we are feeding our spirit and bringing a greater arena of discernment and truth into our lives. Our spirit will be quickened to areas that need to be addressed. The Word of God will pierce through the confusion and bring light to our thoughts.

The daily choices, motives and intents of our heart are more likely to be aligned with heaven as we stay connected to the pure word of God, and immerse our spirit with His words of life.

It’s been a while since I have visited my secret place, but I am looking forward to the changes in my life when I have allowed the “sharper than any two edged sword” Word to visit there first.

I am looking forward to the journey.

The uncompromisingly righteous

I was reading through Proverbs 10 recently, and thanks to my trusted Amplified could not get past the 'righteous' theme in this chapter. This is not the only chapter in the Bible that focuses on being righteous, wise, holy & just, but it most certainly deserves its own blog!

This has been a crazy week to say the least. I have subconsciously been ignoring my Bible & have been treading water just getting through a week of daily events & life in a house of eight, so it was very timely to get a revelation from God (even if it was the 'slap in the face' kind...Ouch!!)

Right now there is beautiful quiet in my home (except for when the dog barks incessently at any movement of any neighbour, neighbours dog or bee!) and my laptop, bible and myself are all together at the same time! Wonderful!

Which brings me to my soul searching revelations on being righteous.. (uncompromisingly!)

The first verse I read was in verse 3:

"the Lord will not allow the uncompromisingly righteous to famish"

What a promise!! So... if I stay righteous (in right standing with God) and don't compromise (go against my core beliefs) then I won't famish (die of thirst and hunger). I am also guessing that I won't famish spiritually. Sounds like a good deal.

Another thought came to mind that if it wasn't for the cross, and the amazing sacrifice that Jesus made for humanity (for you & me) then it would be very difficult to stay "uncompromisingly righteous" in His eyes.

I would have to sacrifice one heck of a lot of rams & lambs for all my sins & unholiness.

The next lot of verses were so compatible with verse 3 that I thought I would list them so you can see what a great decision it is to stay on the "good paths that lead to life"...and not the bad ones!

"Blessings are upon the head of the uncompromisingly righteous.."

"The memory of the uncompromisingly righteous is a blessing.."

"The mouth of the uncompromisingly righteous man (& woman!) is a well of life.."

"The earnings of the righteous lead to life.."

"The tongues of the upright and in right standing with God are as choice silver.."

"The lips of the uncompromisingly righteous feed & guide many.."

"..the desire of the uncompromisingly righteous shall be granted."

"..the uncompromisingly righteous have an everlasting foundation"

"The hope of the uncompromisingly righteous is gladness.."

"The consistently righteous shall never be removed.."

"The mouths of the righteous (those harmonious with God) bring forth skilful & Godly wisdom.."

"The lips of the uncompromisingly righteous know & therefore utter what is acceptable.."

And that is only Chapter 10!!!

I love love love these promises. I love knowing that if I position myself in His will - in a place where I am seeking Him first and seeking His kingdom (not my own), then these things will be added to me. I will never be removed, I will say what is acceptable and my deep desires will be granted (he knows them better than I do anyway!)

Think about not compromising on the small day to day things in life, and what a challenge that is - I know these are the areas that challenge me the most.

My thoughts, my words, my actions, my inactions... all of them come under the 'compromise' or 'non compromise' banner!! I hope that more of them move to the latter as I purpose in my heart to live out this chapter (as best as I can)

This is by far my biggest challenge of the week (month? year?) - to aim to please God, not people, and to live an 'uncompromisingly righteous' life.

Not an easy concept...impossible is the word I'm searching for..(this is me here!)

So the many times when I become inconsistant, forgetful, neglectful & completely ignorant of this giant revelation (how could I???), I pray I will default back to His word, and back to His principles of wisdom.

The plan is to keep them as close as I can to my heart so I don't forget, and when I am tempted to compromise I will remember Chapter 10 in Proverbs.

It's a good plan.

Living the good life (a look at Eph 2:9)

"For we are God's own handiwork (his workmanship)"

I heard this verse on Sunday morning in church, and since then it has haunted me (in a good way).
It is an amazing few verses when you think about it. We are the Creator of the universes' artwork - his masterpiece. He first dreamed and imagined you and me, and then made us to exact specifications.

Amazing.

Think of how precious any piece of artwork is that you created yourself, especially from scratch. It is hard to place a value on something you invested your heart and soul into.

We each are His precious pieces of art.

"recreated in Christ Jesus (born anew) that we may do good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us"

There is so much inside each one of us - all different gifts and talents that germinate and come alive when Christ infuses our soul. The fact that God has planned our good works is slightly mind blowing.

I mean, if I choose to walk right instead of left did He already know that? But God does not live in our restrictive time frame. He is the 'First and the Last - the Before all and the End of all' (Rev 22:13)

I have found once I seek His will and true relationship with God, things begin to fall into place and 'good work' opportunities arrive on my doorstep. I just need to push open the door. I used to stress SO MUCH about being in His will and doing what I should be doing - really a complete waste of energy when just loving Him is much more enjoyable.

"taking paths which He prepared ahead of time"

I can't count how many times I have set upon a path I thought was right, to then have a screeching red light flash before my eyes.

Another door wedged shut. And a knowing that if you push on this door hard enough, it will open - but you will end up lost.

Or another detour that leads back to where you originally began.

Back to square one.

God is really good at helping us get back on the right path - even if it includes rocky terrain and scary heights. If they are leading to eternity then it is a worthwhile journey.

"that we should walk in them (living the GOOD LIFE which He prearranged and made ready for us to live)"

Anyone I know who has walked away from a life following Christ has not been 'living the good life'. In fact they end up completely miserable on the inside. Once you know the truth it is really difficult to re-brainwash yourself into thinking there is no Creator of your life and the bible is a magnificent fable.

Secrets of the good life begin with knowing Him, seeking His kingdom and His ways. This will bring us back to the paths of life - our own paths - with an abundance of beautiful treasures, breathtaking views and kind-hearted travellers ahead making our journey rich and full in every way.

So, are you 'living the good life'? I hope this verse follows you around for a few days, as it did for me.

In a good way of course.

40 random things about me (because I'm 40!)

I wrote this list late one night when I couldn't sleep, read, or fidget any longer...

1. One of my favourite CD's is "The Best of Queen"

2. I am intrigued by butterflies - amazing how something so beautiful can come from something so ugly...

3. My absolute favourite icecream flavours are macadamia nut / rum & raisin

4. I have watched "Notting Hill" 10 times

5. I have watched "Sound of Music" 20 times (my parents are to blame for this!)

6. My favourite place is to be wherever my family is

7. I love airports - it is the best place to people watch.

8. I don't love eggplants

9. My biggest childhood fear was needles, and the dentist..especially needles AT the dentist!

10. My biggest adult fear was public speaking

11. I could have happily had 10 kids! (100 years ago when it was popular)

12. I can't bake cakes! (or muffins for that matter!)

13. I am very easily distracted - except when reading

14. I love love love bookshops

15. I can't stand any creature without legs (ie eels / worms / slugs / snakes!!)

16. I never was allowed to say the word 'poo' as a child!

17. I lost 65 points going for my automatic licence when I was 17 (shame!)

18. My Dad was an airforce pilot

19. I have no sense of direction (ie especially while navigating)

20. I have watched every episode of Gilligans Island

21. Mum used to give me a bowl glucose powder for afternoon tea (I know...what the?)

22. I won the Grade 2 Talent Quest

23. My great great grandfather discovered Scottsdale, Tasmania!!

24. In 1987 I won a bottle of champagne for winning a downhill skiing obstacle race

25. When I was 8 months pregnant with one of my kids I went jetskiing by myself

26. I once fainted down the stairs in school (when I found out I was getting a needle)

27. My favourite flowers are white carnations

28. I used to sell avocados for pocket money

29. I love doing my housework to Bohemiam Rhapsody

30. I learnt French for 3 years - and on a 3 hour stopover in Paris airport, I stuffed up my only chance to speak French in France by ordering a black coffee instead of a white coffee (cafe au lait!!!!!!!)

31. When I was a little girl I would study ant nests for hours

32. I used to have a milk bottle lid collection

33. My only detention ever was in RE when I lied to the teacher and told her my bible was in my locker and wagged class

34. I always leave the last bite of my sandwich on the plate

35. I had bleached blonde long hair for one month

36. I am extremely accident prone

37. My kids and I cloud watch regularly

Ummmmm running out of random things here

38. I once ate a packet of prunes in one go (don't ask)

39. I once got terribly lost in the streets of Venice - great place to get lost!

40 If I could I would walk everywhere barefoot...or ugh boots in winter

If I don't have love....

Taken from a recent Chuck Swindoll devotional, this adaptation of 1Corinthians 13:1-3 is worth a few reads.... Author unknown.

"If I have the language ever so perfectly and speak like a pundit, and have not the love that grips the heart, I am nothing. If I have decorations and diplomas and am proficient in up-to-date methods and have not the touch of understanding love, I am nothing.

If I am able to worst my opponents in argument so as to make fools of them, and have not the wooing note, I am nothing. If I have all faith and great ideals and magnificent plans and wonderful visions, and have not the love that sweats and bleeds and weeps and prays and pleads, I am nothing.

If I surrender all prospects, and leaving home and friends and comforts, give myself to the showy sacrifice of a missionary career, and turn sour and selfish amid the daily annoyances and personal slights of a missionary life, and though I give my body to be consumed in the heat and sweat and mildew of India, and have not the love that yields its rights, its coveted leisure, its pet plans, I am nothing, nothing. Virtue has ceased to go out of me.

If I can heal all manner of sickness and disease, but wound hearts and hurt feelings for want of love that is kind, I am nothing. If I write books and publish articles that set the world agape and fail to transcribe the word of the cross in the language of love, I am nothing. Worse, I may be competent, busy, fussy, punctilious, and well-equipped, but like the church at Laodicea—nauseating to Christ."

"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing." 1Cor13:1-3

why worry?

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the centre of your life.”
Philippians 4:6-7. (TMB)

We all know this verse, but don’t we need it daily? I will never forget the day I had no choice but to get two (yes just two) wisdom teeth pulled out - a big deal to me considering I spent most of my childhood haunted by a fear of dentists and needles. My husband Rick couldn’t even get me out of the car when we pulled up. I felt like in one millisecond I had morphed into little girl Jenny and he was my dad.

Finally after much gentle persuasion followed by Rick finally grabbing my hand and praying for peace (it was obvious I had none) and that I would survive (well of course we both knew I would but it was nice to hear him ask God to spare my life), I finally got out and had no choice but to face my fears. There was no pulling out (well actually there was...) as Rick had already driven off, and if I had run home it would have been obvious I was a complete chicken….so I definitely could have used Philippians 4:6-7 last week!

I love verse 7 in the Amplified:

“And God’s peace (shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace) which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

The meaning of garrison is a ‘military post which is permanently stationed’. Using the verb it means to assign troops to a post. So when you look at that verse again, when you pray, God’s peace will be stationed permanently and be assigned to guard your heart and mind. That is powerful! You have an army at your beck and call, night and day!

Worry and anxiety can be crippling emotionally and spiritually. As a mum I find it hard sometimes to squash those daily cares and situations which arise at any given time before they become imbedded in my head as a source of worry. How hard, yet how vital, is it to then displace those thoughts and replace them with peace?

Its fine when life is coasting along at a leisurely pace, the sun is shining and the chickens are laying…no worries! But when you get that phone call that turns your world upside down, the bills start arriving daily, you unsuspectingly visit the dentist and find out he’s going to rip your teeth out one by one…you can almost see the dark clouds rising on the horizon drifting closer and closer.

When you’re going through the dark valley you realise why all those verse in the Bible are there. Those verses you skimmed over last time you read Psalms soothe the soul this time around. For every season in our life there is a verse written just for you, for this moment, ‘living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword, penetrating even to dividing soul and spirit….’ (Heb 12:4)

So with so much going on in each of our worlds, every day, try to remember this humble verse on peace versus worry. I promise I will too!

“I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” Philippians 4:8 (TMB)

For the record, I bravely survived the trauma of what seemed like the 'needle from hell' being inserted into half my mouth tissue, but still to this day do not understand why the receptionist allowed me to wander unassisted into the chemist shop (and beyond) after being administered half the surgery's allocation of happy gas. I don't recall talking to the chemist. Slurring, drooling & groaning are the first words that come to mind. Not that I would have given up happy gas for anything that day!

on getting a life verse

Without having seen Him, you love Him; though you do not [even] now see Him, you believe in Him and exult and thrill with inexpressible and glorious (triumphant, heavenly) joy. 1Peter1:8 AMP

When I was a new Christian at sixteen, I would lie on my bed thinking about the church service that night and wonder how I could somehow find proof that God was real. It was a turning point in my faith because I was making a decision to either go forward with my Christianity or turn away. I was discouraged because I felt like all my prayers were bouncing off the ceiling, and I would stare out of my bedroom window at the million stars in the sky, and wonder how I really mattered in the whole scheme of the galaxy.

I finally decided to thumb through my bible and did the all favourite flick and point. I landed on 1 Peter, and my eyes went straight to verse 8. ‘Though having not seen you love….’

And that was the point in question. How do you love someone you cannot see?

It all seemed to click from that point on. I read and reread that verse for ages until the words were cemented into my brain. 1Peter 1:8 became my life verse, and I based the foundation of my faith in God on those words.

There's nothing like the inexpressible joy from heaven to keep you going even when things don’t make sense!

I made a decision to love and believe in Him no matter what, and I think if it wasn’t for that moment in time I don’t know if I could have weathered some of the storms that were ahead of me, even decades later.

What is your life verse? Do you have one? I felt like God handpicked that one just for me. It seemed to jump out of the Bible and hit me in the face.

I went through a soul searching time recently, because life had become so busy that I felt like those special moments with Him were harder to find. (Yesterday I woke up at 5am to a spewing child, and he was still going at 5pm!) I have never wanted to lose my first love, and the excitement I had when I was a new Christian. But to keep that alive you have to continue to seek Him in imaginative ways!

My favourite story is of Susannah Wesley (Charles & John Wesley’s mum). With 19 children to think about one of the ways she spent time with God was underneath her apron in the corner of her kitchen. Thankfully we don’t have to resort to that (I hope!)

So dig up your life verse, and maybe this week think back to the early days when you first found out about the gift of salvation, and the One who loves you.

You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don't see him, yet you trust him—with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you'll get what you're looking forward to: total salvation. (Message Bible Version)

A light on my path

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Proverbs 6:23

How well known is this verse?! Yet we need to know it backwards as it is the essence of God’s direction for us. The Word of God is so important and vital to our existence that we need it as the light source for our journey through life, and as a steady compass as we take one hesitant step ahead of the other.

I few years ago my Rachael & I went on a 'mum & daughter' trip to New Zealand, and while we were in Queenstown enjoying the view from the side of a mountain (as you do) I noticed a path leading into the forest behind us. We were at the top of the Gondola and the path was behind the luge just begging to be explored. (the luge is a number of paths winding down the side of the mountain, and you jump on a go cart and the idea is to speed down as fast as you can. Unfortunately my go cart broke half way down. That’s another story…)

It had just snowed that morning, and as we wandered into the darkness of the snow capped pine trees Rach was starting to worry. She stopped and wanted to go back to the luge where it seemed safer. It was true, there was no one else around, we didn’t exactly know where we were going, and there were also no immediate signs. However, the thrill of not knowing, but just following and trusting the path for whatever lay ahead was too great!

Rach made me promise we wouldn’t get lost, and after that she began to enjoy the beauty of the walk. It felt like we had arrived in Narnia with the snow and pine needles under our feet, and such a peaceful stillness that you could hear the water trickling further ahead. Soon we were taking photos, singing and excited about what was around the corner.

After about five minutes walking along this trail we came out to an opening to the most incredible scenery I have seen in a long time. Row upon row of majestic snow capped mountains that went as far as the eye could see, and a sign that said we were on the ‘Ben Lomond Track’ that went on and on around mountains ahead of us. We stood there for ages appreciating the view, and so thankful we had kept going despite not knowing where we were headed.

Isn’t that like our walk with God? He has the most amazing, indescribable life planned for us, but in the shadows of the trees when we can’t see the view ahead, and no one else seems to be around, it doesn’t seem as exhilarating. You can’t see the signs and you just have to hold on to His hand and take one step in front of the other, trusting that you are on the right path and soon there will be an opening that makes your sacrifices and every footstep worthwhile.

He knows best, and just enjoying where you are on the path of life, making sure that the Word of God is your light source is truly the best way to live. And you’re guaranteed spectacular views along the way, especially at the end!

“My steps have held closely to Your paths (to the tracks of the One Who has gone on before); my feet have not slipped.” Psalm 17:5